Name/Title
AU Harris, Joseph Hastings - 1895-10-30 letter to Bertha Elizabeth LambertEntry/Object ID
1990.1.64Context
[Ada, OH, to Miss Bertha Lambert, Westerville, Ohio, “Franklin Co.”]
Ada, O. Oct. 30, 1895.
10 P.M.
Miss Bertha E. Lambert,
Westerville, Ohio.
My Darling Bertha:
Once more this grand privilege is presented to me. How much I enjoy this opportunity after wrestling with hard tasks until weary and what a solace it is to realize that I am speaking to my loved one knowing that she sympathizes in every emotion and that her thought is constantly seeking my own. Yes 'tis wonderful indeed and better experienced than told. I wonder sometimes how I used to get along when I realized that I was simply walking alone not knowing whither I was going nor why I was living, but now it seems to me new life and inspiration has been imparted, I do not feel as I used to feel in many respects and it must all be attributed to your little but inspiring “yes” given as we sat facing the fire in your sitting room.
I shall not soon forget the inspiration — and — yes surprise I must say — of that moment, but it was sweet surprise for although I felt that time would bring that answer, yet I seemed to have felt that I was asking largely and am thankful to say that I received accordingly for no other treasure is comparable to that which came with that moment. I feel so perfectly satisfied and confident that there is a Divine Hand in this, and no difference how pretty, refined, educated, wealthy, religious or talented young lady I may meet, I see nothing in her that is comparable in any way to my own true and loving Bertha. How could it be possible otherwise since one so noble, so pure, affectionate and devoted fills every nerve and fiber of my existence. I feel that whatever work we may take up our plan is wise. If the ministry, Y.M.C.A. work or mission work, I can conceive of no nobler plan, for what is more ennobling than the love and affection of a true woman or what could be a greater wall of protection to a man than the virtue of a beloved companion, or were I to follow a trade what a guardian angel you would be. Besides as I look into nature's laws and see her marvelous works and behold the workings of the human mind, I must say that it seems to me a person does not live only half a life when they fail to participate in this great law of love. I sometimes become almost impatient to think of the long time we have talked of intervening ere carrying out our plans. I hope to be able to decide this term just about how much schooling to take and the nature of the work and I know that you are anxious about this decision also. I would so much enjoy talking with you face to face on this question, for I feel that since we are one it is rather difficult for half of a person to decide what so much and dearly concerns the whole person, but I think we may discuss this in our next visit. I think I know about what you will say in substance and we may have a little quarrel?
But I should not trouble you with such forebodings, but I certainly would enjoy troubling you with my presence and I am anxiously awaiting the time when I shall see you every day and enjoy the inspiration of soul that beams from your countenance. But I must go on .
Your letter brought a tone of sadness with it in respect to the recent deaths. We are not apt to think much of death until brought into its presence. Sam Small spoke here last Friday night and McKinley Monday night but I heard neither of them although I shook hands with the governor. Tuesday night I think was the grandest treat I ever enjoyed in the way of eloquence, pathos and sublimity. Ex-Confederate Gen. John B. Gordon of Atlanta Ga. lectured on “The last days of the Confederacy.” He led one division of Lee's Army throughout the entire war and covered Lee's retreat from Richmond. I wish you might have heard him.
I recite Cicero Desenectute at 10 Trig. at 11 Sci Rhet 1:40 Homer 6:30 in the evening. Doubtless had I not made those visits to W. you could get a “point” for the lecture course, but now of course they are afraid. They had a big Democratic rally at Lima last Sat. but I did not go. Some of the club thought it was the wrong direction.
Our next lecture will be held next Tuesday night, subject Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Nourse. You have read the book I believe have you not?
I should not tempt you about our visits. You know how much I long to be with you and were my circumstances as many young men I think it might be quite different, but considering all, work etc. I think best to ask if we might wait until holidays.
I realize however that there is a certain element contained in our affairs which does not want to be set aside nor controlled by money or time considerations.
I don't want to go beyond that bound. I leave the stage Fri. night, but must conduct our separate meeting next Sunday.
You may think from this letter that the writer is a fit subject for the insane asylum, but if so, you are the cause of it all.
May you be sweetly kept at all times.
Your Lover, J. H. Harris.
