Name/Title
AU Harris, Joseph Hastings - 1896-02-02 letter to Bertha Elizabeth LambertEntry/Object ID
1990.1.82Context
[Ada, OH, to Miss Bertha Lambert, Westerville, Ohio, “Franklin Co.”]
Ada, O. Feb. 2, 1896.
Miss Lambert,
Westerville, O.
My Loving Bertha: With delight I hail this opportunity of again making known to you the longings and desires that emanate from my soul this evening. Would that I had language to express my thoughts as they come in rather a confused procession. Since our last visit it seems to me that I never before so realized the seriousness of life as it is now presented to me. I can more fully appreciate that gem “Count that day lost whose low descending sun views from thy hand no worthy action done.” Somehow I can not but realize a sense of condemnation when I spend an hr even in what some term light study for recreation, perhaps that is wrong for often a person can do more and better work by being, what we term, idle once in a while, but in everything and on every hand it seems to me there is a call to action and then to think of being unprepared for this work is enough to cause one to absolve himself from every thought of pleasure for pleasure's sake. I sometimes find myself rather looking forward to the future with the realization that my greatest joy will be in perhaps extreme sacrifice.
Perhaps this is rather a melancholy view, but as I study the lives of the matchless Son of God and of Paul I cannot help feeling but that we are deprived of the presence of the Spirit many times though negative temptations {ie} the love of ease hinders us from undertaking and doing much that otherwise might be done. But we all have our different parts to bear in carrying in this work and under God I can say let Him use me where He may choose.
As I have been studying the Detroit Reports I find myself seated in that great Church listening to those burning words as they came from a Spirit-filled missionary. How differently seems the thoughts now since having had almost two yrs since that time to think and consider that question. The word of God seems like a new chapter, its theme seems new and life opens out with broader visions.
Thursday Feb. 6, 1896.
You see from the date that I wrote some last Sunday just in a general way. I presume we both must have been thinking quite a good deal. Your letter came at the usual time, but I must say it did not affect just as usual, for I went direct to Analytic Geom. class and found it quite difficult to see anything except your letter.
I know you are wondering what the reply will be, so asking the Holy Spirit for guidance I now proceed in order of your letter. I thank God that He has revealed to you that you have your own individuality and that however closely you may be allied to the one you love He may have a special work for you to do which no one else can do. Why has He given you such ability and power if it was not meet that you as well as I should be called to a special work? I am glad that you are not content with the idea that you are excused if you assist some one without also feeling called to that work.
How wonderfully God does lead and train us. God be praised that you have made the surrender.
I am glad to know that you believe in a “Holy Ghost” religion and that God leads those who are obedient to Him. The next thought was the one that “melted” me. Seldom am I moved to emotion but I confess this was one of the times when a stout heart failed (you know in what sense), not that you said any thing wrong, but it was your loving devotion to Christ. Your sentence reads, Joe, I still love you as truly as ever. I believe every word and impulse of that sentence, and to balance it let me say Bertha, I love you more truly than ever. God knows the affections between us. But my “Love” He has a greater claim on us than either of us have on the other. The will of the Lord be done.
Since before I asked for your lovely hand I tried to make that my motto, indeed that was one thing that prevented me from urging my claim upon you more strenuously.
My daily prayer is and has been “O God thou knowest our plans and if they are not consistent with Thy plan wilt Thou make it known.” I may be wrong but I scarcely agree with you in that we have been hasty in our plans. I believe they were made with due deliberation and thought so far as we were able to see the future and for my own part I believe they have been a great help in settling my purpose, but I see in what sense you meat it.
Now I think any plan that we make is subject to change by the guidance of the Holy Spirit and I think one Article in our contract reads “This being satisfactory to both parties etc,” I remember that that thought came to mind when we were wording that clause. So I think that part was carefully noticed and provided for.
Now Bertha, I must say I am glad that you have allowed the Holy Spirit to get hold of you in this way and let me say reverently if God calls you to Africa and me to S. America or Berne Tp., let us not question for a moment His wisdom, but go to our respective places. I trust that you may listen very closely to hear that “still small voice” and when you have heard it be very obedient.
I dare not lay anything in the way of your choosing your work. “How wonderfully God trains.” Had I said one year ago what my work should be I fear “my Loved one” might not now be hearing the voice of God. I trust that you may be perfectly free in deciding you life work if God gives you a special call.
And let me say further, however much it pains me, (may God help me to be submissive in penning these lines) if you find our plans in the way of your deciding this question obediently I will confer with you concerning setting that part aside until you have decided.
I could not do this for the world's sake or any one else's but for the sake of Him who died for me I could do it. God forbid that I should ever hear the snap of those tender love rootlets breaking which now bind us so closely together, nor do I believe it is God's plan that I should hear it. I believe He is pleased with our plans and I believe that everything is working out for the best and that long before we are prepared for our work He will show us just what it is.
You know I can not express my affections for you but if under God's leading at anytime Bertha, you feel any dissatisfaction or any abatement of your affection toward me in any way, O please do not bury it, but tell me all, tell me all that may come up. I know that I never could be happy to be severed from you so far as the pleasure of life is concerned, but I dare not interfere with God's plans.
In brief let me say, that when you feel that our plans come between you and your God, do not hesitate to make it known. Perhaps some might say that I am too free in saying what I have said but I have said only that which I believe God would have me say. We are preparing for eternity and our stay here is short and O what a failure if we miss the plan of God. You did not say a word too much nor was any of it out of place and if I have said anything that should be otherwise I hope you may mention it in your next letter.
Of course anything that has to do with the affections is a very delicate subject but I believe we have the courage to talk on any subject and I trust that you may take the greatest freedom in mentioning anything that may come to your mind that pertains to our present or future welfare. I trust that we may both soon decide our work and then we can see as to the other. You can readily see that I am hurried in writing this. I would so much enjoy being with you and talking all these questions over. I hoped to be able to visit you in four wks (it seems a shame not to do so) but the way looks very cloudy now. Let us continue to pray for oneanother everyday.
I look forward to brighter days when your beaming countenance shall be my sunshine. May God bless my “loved one” and soothe her anxieties.
Hoping this may find you happy and still trusting in Jesus. I now say Good-bye for this day.
Your Devoted Lover,
J. H. Harris.
