Name/Title
AU Harris, Joseph Hastings - 1896-03-01 letter to Bertha Elizabeth LambertEntry/Object ID
1990.1.86Context
[Ada, OH, to Miss Bertha E. Lambert, Westerville, Ohio, “Franklin Co.”]
Ada, O. Mar. 1, 1896.
Miss Lambert,
Westerville, Ohio.
My Loving Bertha: It is now 9 P.M. and I wonder what you are doing — writing to me perhaps or spending a few moments in conversation with those about the fireside — I imagine I see you at the desk as you sit thinking as I also am doing of how much nicer it would be to spend the hr. side by side instead of so much March atmosphere between us.
But however dense the atmosphere between us, I feel that it would take a pretty solid wedge to separate us soul from soul. I have had my hands full this wk. to be sure as I had to make up back work on studies, prepare annual Y.M.C.A. report, and take care of my measley room-mate. He is getting along nicely, but is still confined to his bed. He is very patient and takes medicine every one and two hrs all the time up to midnight.
As announced before we made change in Association administration today and now quite a responsibility is lifted from my shoulders, but when the new chman read his committees, he had me on the devotional com., Chairman of Misc. Com. and itemizer, but I think I can get out of the latter. The yrs work has been a blessed experience, and while the work has been very imperfect yet I do not hesitate to say to you that the Association has passed through the most successful yr. taking the work in general, it has had since I have known anything about it or the records show. Of course after we have done all in our power even then we are to say we are unprofitable, servants, but my conscience is clear and I thank God for having called me into this work. It has given me broader views of life and the will of God concerning me. It seems to me I have lived more true life in the past fifteen months than altogether before and I attribute it under the will of God all to you and this work here. I was thinking today of how we had been separated and the thought came, perhaps considering my work here and the lessons we have been taught in the way of testing, it might be that it was as well for us to be separated although it is difficult to see it that way at the time.
I see that this yrs experience at Otterbein is a great factor in your life. Perhaps it is because you are crowning Jesus king in your life.
Mar. 4,
Your message of sunshine came at the usual time and gave the desired inspiration. Examinations haunt the students this wk. I had Latin exam. last night and will have three tomorrow. I have learned not to worry much about exams. Mr. Fisher is sitting up now but will not get out for a few days yet. And so you felt rather sad did you because I sent no word to you with our big brother? Well I will be honest and fess up I could not look at him without a thrilling thought of you and I had looked forward all the time for an hr. of private conversation with him when I expected to be quite confidential as to a message for you and pertaining to our work in the near future, but it seemed that we hardly said good-bye and away I went feeling that my mission was scarcely performed. But do not grieve; on my next visit I am going to stay until your folks are tired of me perhaps longer than that(?). I will try to stay three days at any rate. Unless things change about quite suddenly I think it will be better for both to leave our visit for three wks. which I believe is the close of your term. From the catalogue I see that you have no vacation at all. How is that? Perhaps you have no recitations on Friday? I received a letter from Leonard, Tues. asking me to write a paper for their missionary meeting next Sunday. It will give me very little time, however I may try to write something tomorrow. I think we are both looking forward to our visit very prayerfully realizing that much may depend on the decisions made. I have been thinking very much recently of a plan like this: suppose we set a date, say Sunday Mar. 15 when we shall both write at the same time stating briefly or at length as nearly as possible just where we stand as to our future work {ie} the kind of work, place and any other item we may think to mention. Of course I do not mean that this shall be binding at all, but that we as individuals may calmly alone with God survey the field and then write out the thoughts as best we can without taking our vow of betrothal as the center from which to work or base our conclusions. I don't understand that these conclusions are to be final at all, but perhaps they may be a help to us, after careful study, in making a final decision when we meet. You know how difficult it is to express our thought on such questions when we are in conversation together, I know it is for me, and I wondered if in this way we might come a little nearer each other and our future plans. This may be asking too much of my “Loved one” as always in the past she has hesitated on my own account, fearing her decision might be in my way, but now I think you may be perfectly free to say to me just as the thought may present itself. What do you think of the plan or can you suggest something better?
Do not feel that you ought to follow the suggestion simply because I suggested it. If you prefer not to write that way, of course that is all right. You might state if you like in your next letter what you think of the idea.
I shall not forget you soon. I could not if I should try. I have to feel pretty blue if I do not receive inspiration in simply passing the McClelland house. I presume I would be rather overjoyed and overpowered in ecstasy all the time were I permitted to be with you all the time, however I would be very willing to risk living through it all. Well I presume I have said enough this time, so I send a letter full of love and good wishes as a substitute for myself unless I take a crazy(?) notion and take the train Friday or Sat. for W. but of course I would let you know an hr. or two(?) beforehand.
May we both be guided by the hand of God during this coming four wks.
Your Lover,
J. H. Harris.
