Transcription
CATALOG NUMBER S 1035
OBJECT NAME Letter
DATE September 12, 181[0?]
AUTHOR Mr. [Rudolph] Bunner (son-in-law of Angelica Schuyler Church)
https://www.ancestry.com/family-tree/person/tree/100758904/person/160104723299/facts?_phsrc=OtR148&_phstart=successSource
RECIPIENT Mary Anna Sawyer Schuyler
MEDIUM Paper, ink
PEOPLE Mrs Jones, her husband, their (new?accidental?) daughter, Mrs
Patro[o]n and Mr[s?]. Cruger (Washington),
PLACES Rhinebeck, Poughkeepsie, Newburgh
KEYWORDS daughter of Mr. & Mrs. Jones (“their case is as different from
Mine” - appears he lost several children at very young ages), Lord
Byron, regret, apology, if I “go to housekeeping”,
Newburgh. Sept _ 12th 181[0?]_
My dear Friend
I know not well how to commence a Letter of apology to you / and I am convinced that such a Letter is necessary to justify an / apparent want of Inclination on my part to visit Rhinbeck _ The truth and the very truth is that no such disinclination ever / did Exist but Controled by Circumstances, I have not / been able to gratify my own wished by a visit to persons / of all others I hold most dear - without further details, you will / I know believe me unless I have but lost that Place in your / affections I once flattered myself I pofsefsed_ I have Lived / long enough in the World to know the value of real Friends / and the scarcity of the relicks that?? Endear them / still more to me . neither Whim nor Caprice nor unsteadinefs / on my part shall ever sever me from them_ Believe me / then when I afsure you that it was a serious disappointment / to me to Leave Poughkeepsie without seeing you and Believe / me too when I afsure you that I was compelled to forego / the anticipated Pleasure with great Reluctance_ / Mrs Jones has a daughter _ C’est la bien venué _ I am / happy that she and her husband find in this accident / pleasure, the Pleasure in all probability will not be unmingled / but let me not Prophesy Evils which I feel & which may / never reach them _ their Case is as different from mine / as one is from five.
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I have heared of your Fame from diverse Quarters and / from no Quarter did I hear more flattering things than from / Mrs Patro[o]n and Mr[s?]. Cruger at Washington Next Winter / you will take the field and would to heaven I could / obtain some Employ that would give me a position near / you, but that cannot be _ I am Slowly gaining the Repute / of a man of Business. My profile however are lower than / my Reputation and if things do not Change I shall be / disgusted with unprofitable drudgery however recommended [^sweetened] / by imputed industry: In truth I feel myself misplaced and only Remain here to prevent the utter Lofs of / my Reputation for Consistency:- My life has been Like the / feeverish dreams of intoxication and now that I have / awakened from my long sleep I look back with feelings / of almost maddening Reproach but I try not to Look / Back but onward_ onward_ What time may have / in Store for me I know not_ but if nothing but the / dry performance of Duty is left, so be it_ I feel curious / to know what is pafsing in your mind what changes have / taken Place in that Little World in which only we can be / truly said to be Conscious of our Existence: do the flattering / visions of hope still play before your fancy or is the delusion /
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over_ have the painful realities of life touched you with a / deadly Sensation? I pray not now or -Ever- you may by / discipline Elude that Spear of Ithuriel_ or you may / substitute something in Place of the unreal Phantoms / of youth health and Beauty_ but it is and Will be Still / a Substitute: I remember well mourning over the Ghost of / former Pleasures when my mind opened and my tastes / improved and the Arabian Nights fairy tales too were / no longer food as palatable as formerly_ the improvement / was undoubted_ but what was the Substitute for the joys / the Careless Joys which the Rising Power of Reason difsipated / like the morning mists - a feeble Consciousnefs of Re-[wax seal blot] / superiority of rather feeble Pleasure in the sense of that / superiority: and a painful conviction that future Pleasure / was to be dearly purchased by toil and Continued Labor / Still there is Compensation in all things, and when the / mirror thro which the objects of youth are seen is Broken / the mind is forced to vigorous Exertion which Like the / healthy toils of the Husbandman [serve] you to future / darings and harden you to future sufferings_ Lord_ / Byron_ Read him_ he is a great Moralist _ he / paints the World as it is & By disgusting you with / this prepared you to Leave it if not with Pleasure at Least without / Regret- R. Bunner
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[ADDRESS]
Mrs Philip Schuyler
Rhinebeck
Dutchefs County
[POSTAL NOTATION]
NewBurgh } 10
Sept 13 }Transcriber
Kathryn AlexanderLanguage
English
