Bowed down by deepest sorrow, the instigators of the world conflagration and leaders of the remaining Cossack hordes and arsonists announce to the entire astonished world, especially to the faithless Italians, the ungrateful Japanese, and the English penny-pinchers, that it has pleased the council of the underestimated Austro-Hungarian and German armies to drive us out of Galicia, down to the last Russian soldier. With sorrowful hearts, we leave the places we have devastated; neither the local medicine of Wutki nor promises to the Jews helped our will to utterly destroy Austria and Germany and bring them under our yoke.
For eternity, this disgrace will be indelibly inscribed in bloody letters in world history; we will receive our just punishment from our people in St. Petersburg and Moscow.
The dreaded Krupp and Skoda cannons continue to play the retreating funeral march.
It is with deepest sorrow that we announce this.
The Russian High Knuckle-wielders
